Archive for the 'rants' Category

You’ve Lost Your Manicurist: Now What?

Posted by cher on March 10th, 2009

There is a nail salon about every 50 feet in NYC, yet finding the perfect one can be daunting. It can take some trial and produce some ugly and painful results.

It’s a great feeling to finally find your perfect manicurist match. It becomes a place where everyone knows your name. You can have a standing appointment. He or she knows exactly how you like your nails done. They know if you like to chat to prefer to sit in silence.

But what happens when your manicurist leaves the salon? Or in my case, disappears out of the blue? First, you must mourn. I’ve been doing my own nails even though I’m sure the other woman at my salon is just as proficient as Jean was. I’m just not ready to move on yet.

When you’re ready to play the field again, be smart. Don’t get your hopes up that the next manicurist will be Mr. or Ms. Right. Ask a colleague to set you up with someone. Don’t settle. If you’re not happy, move on.

I called my salon one day to make an appointment and the receptionist said, “Oh, Jean isn’t here anymore.” She was not only my manicurist, but my bikini waxer as well. Talk about traumatizing. It takes awhile to develop that level of comfort with someone. After all, it is a pretty personal area.

For now, I’m on my own. I may try “the other woman,” but she never looked as friendly as Jean. Oh Jean, how I miss you.

To all those who have lost the perfect one – I empathize.

RiRi Octo Bachelor

Posted by cher on March 9th, 2009


1. Rihanna v. Chris Brown


2. Octo-Mom!


3. The Bachelor Love Triangle


I understand that Rihanna’s situation is a serious matter, but the girl is going to make her own decisions regardless of what the media says or what the public thinks. Octo-Mom  seriously needs to get out of my face. I can’t watch any of my entertainment shows without seeing her tax-payers’-dollars-reaping-money-hungry-Angelina-wannabe face on my tv. I can’t imagine how much more ballistic I’d be if I lived in California. And Jason. Jason, Jason, Jason. If I hear you apologize one more time for “putting Melissa through that on national television,” I think I will start sending you dead roses in hopes that you will be scared, cry a little more and then SHUT UP.

Cell Phone Camera Creepers

Posted by cher on September 25th, 2008

I’m pretty sure a guy took a picture of my ass in Duane Reade yesterday. I was in line at the pharmacy and I heard that distinct shutter-click noise that cell phone cameras make. I looked over my shoulder right away and saw his phone pointed at my lower half.

You’re probably all, “Oh my god, she’s so conceited, why does she think some guy would want to take a picture of her ass?”

I swear I’m not narcissistic – and I don’t know why anyone would take a picture of it. It’s not that great. It’s not giant and it’s not perfect. It’s your run-of-the-mill ass.

I’ve been paranoid about cell phone cameras since Dateline did a special on perverts using them to take pictures up women’s skirts. (Thank you, Dateline, for making me paranoid about practically everything.) Also, Gossip Girl has added to the paranoia. I mean seriously, can those people do anything without having their picture taken and posted online?

It’s a world full of creepers, I tell ya.